


Well Fuck

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [26]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: our new house needs to have a v big bathtub</p><p>more like HUNKules: second on the list</p><p>little lion: FUCK this LIST herc IM trying to MAKE  a POINT</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to that anon who leaves me headcanons in my ask box on tumblr!! I referenced one in this and I'll definitely bring it up again
> 
> also psa my tumblr is lol-phan-af

  
**laf** : I have so many questions

**laf** : the first of which is where are you @john and hercules

**laf** : the second being why @alex

**little lion** : IT HELPS ME UNWIND

**laf** : ??????

**johnn** : ME AND HERCULES ARE GETTING MCDONALDS

**johnn** : WHAT IS ALEX DOING

**laf** : I GET HOME AND ALEX IS BLARING FALL OUT BOY IN THE BATHROOM SO I GO IN AND HES JUST

**laf** : IN THE BATH

**laf** : BUBBLE BATH UP TO HIS NOSE AND THEN A MOUNTAIN OF IT ON TOP OF HIS HAIR

**laf** : ZIPLOC BAGS AND PLASTIC WRAPPED COVERING HIS CAST 300 TIMES OVER

**johnn** : HE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME

**johnn** : usually it's with like beyonce music tho

**little lion** : I thought I'd change it up

**johnn** : nice

**laf** : WHAT

\---

**more like HUNKules** : where are you

**laf** : ,,,,,,,,,

**laf** : in the bath

**more like HUNKules** : where is alex

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,

**little lion** : in the bath

**more like HUNKules** : I have no words

**laf** : we'd invite you to join but this bathtub cannot and will not fit another person

**more like HUNKules** : I'm good either way

**little lion** : lafayette is sitting here with a bubble beard over their real beard and a fuckign bun you're really very missing out a lot

**more like HUNKules** : well fuck

**laf** : I should've brought candles before I got in this could've been romantic

**little lion** : I think we'll manage

**laf** : will we tho

**little lion** : yeS

\---

**more like HUNKules** : do you want this food or should I put it in the fridge

**laf** : bring us the food

**more like HUNKules** : aren't you scared that you'll drop it in the bath

**little lion** : nah I have a bath tray

**more like HUNKules** : I forgot about that thing

**laf** : DID EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT ALEX BEING BATHS AF EXCEPT ME

**johnn** : yeah

**more like HUNKules** : I did

**laf** : TF I AM YOUR SIGNIF AND YOU DO THIS TO ME

**little lion** : I nEVER HID IT FROM YOU

**little lion** : YOU JUST NEVER FOUND OUT

**laf** : IM SO OFFENDED

**johnn** : I can hear you splashing each other I don't want to come in

**little lion** : BRING US OUR FOOD PLZ

\---

**johnn** : fuck

**more like HUNKules** : I am afraid

**more like HUNKules** : I can hear you breathing heavily against the bathroom door

**johnn** : they just tried to seduce me

**little lion** : we were literally just sitting here

**johnn** : YOU WERE N O T AT A L L

**johnn** : fiRST OF ALL THE EYES I WAS GIVEN AS I WALKED IN

**johnn** : SECOND OF ALL THE FACT THAT LAFAYETTE GOT COMPLETELY OUT OF THE TUB TO TAKE THE FOOD AND KISS ME AS IF THATS FUCKITKFGGFKDKFGJ NORMAL IN ANY SENSE

**more like HUNKules** : how much water did they get on the floor

**johnn** : idk

**johnn** : I was a little,,,,,distracted,,,

**more like HUNKules** : oh my god

**laf** : ;^))))

**more like HUNKules** : oH

**more like HUNKules** : MY GOD

\---

**little lion** : our new house needs to have a v big bathtub

**more like HUNKules** : second on the list

**little lion** : FUCK this LIST herc IM trying to MAKE  a POINT

**johnn** : why wouldn't we just get a hot tub

**laf** : it's more romantic in a bathtub

**more like HUKules** : we can make a hot tub romantic

**laf** : no bc john goes under the water and pretends to be the loch ness monster and I no longer trust him

**more like HUNKules** : going underwater in hot tubs damages your brain

**little lion** : that explains a lot

**johnn** : RUDE

\---

**little lion** : okay anyway so a really really big bathtub

**little lion** : like one we can all fit in

**little lion** : we could buy a shit ton of bath bombs and go wILD

**more like HUNKules** : just a question how big do you expect this new house to be

**little lion** : oh idc how big the house is gonna be I just want the bigger bed and the bathtub

**little lion** : somewhere where john can paint or draw or any other kind of art bc I know he wants to do that even if he never admits it  
  
 **johnn** : why would you want that personally

**little lion** : bc I love you and want you to be happy??

**johnn** : oh my god I'm cryin so hard

**johnn** : love you too

**johnn** : me and hercules could share a studio

**more like HUNKules** : I'd be down for that

**johnn** : !!yay!!

**little lion** : and lafayette could decorate the house anyway they want

**johnn** : yE BC THEY WERE SO SAD WHEN THEY COULDN'T DECORATE THIS ONE

**little lion** : YES

**laf** : !!!

**more like HUNKules** : how many bedrooms are in this thing

**johnn** : shit

**little lion** : is this The Conversation

**laf** : we all know what sex is alex

**little lion** : NOT THAT CONVERSATION

**johnn** : the Children Amount Conversation??

**little lion** : yES

**more like HUNKules** : amount

**more like HUNKules** : like we're baking a fucking cake out of them

**laf** : ANYWAY

**laf** : I VOTE 20

**little lion** : SAME

**johnn** : NO

**more like HUNKules** : ALSO NO

**laf** : court adjourned to a later date

**johnn** : objection??

**laf** : overruled

**laf** : ttyl motherfuckers

\---

**laf** : okay so after being told that 20 children is ""too many"" and that we """aren't financially prepared for that"""

**laf** : I have decided on voting for four

**little lion** : okay so are they sharing rooms

**laf** : probably

**laf** : like we'd have to be so fuckign RICH to afford a five bedroom house

**johnn** : my idea was like two

**more like HUNKules** : I was gonna go with three

**little lion** : my vote is still twenty but I'm willing to compromise on whoever wins this argument that y'all are about to have

**laf** : also are we adopting or having a surrogate or??

**more like HUNKules** : well fUCK

**little lion** : FRICK WHAT THE FUCK

**johnn** : WE'RE SO UNPREPARED

**laf** : F U C K

\---

**little lion** : three kids, five bedroom house, lafayette decorates the whole thing, we have a HUGE ASS FUCKIN BATH TUB, still don't know if we should have a surrogate or not

**laf** : I vote yes

**little lion** : but consider: who will be the Biological Parent of the First Child

**johnn** : I hate you

**little lion** : frick ya

**johnn** : we're not calling our first born child The First Child

**little lion** : you might not be but I am

**little lion** : at least until they have a name

**laf** : I AM VOTING GEORGES (washington) OR MARIE

**little lion** : WE'RE NOT NAMING OUR KID AFTER YOU

**laf** : IT WOULDN'T BE AFTER ME NECESSARILY

**little lion** : okay MARIE-joseph paul yves roch gilbert du motier marquis de lafayette oKAY

**laf** : ,,,,,,,

**little lion** : I vote philip

**more like HUNKules** : what if it's a girl tho

**little lion** : """it"""

**laf** : !!MARIE!!

**little lion** : NO

**johnn** : NO

**more like HUNKules** : N O

**laf** : G O D

**Author's Note:**

> I FINALLY UPDATED IT!! this would've been up yesterday but I had work and then I was forced to be with my family for five hours and then came home and passed out so :///


End file.
